Hi, I'm new here so I figured I would post the three lyrics I have written that mean the most to me to kinda get the feel of who I am across, tell me what ya think. Thanks.

“Dear Sweet Angel”

(v1)
always unappreciated
slightly underestimated
mostuning my poisend lips
awaiting your gentle kiss
never seem to satisfy
it's time for me to pacify
confusion that you put me through
the way you make me come unglued

(chorus)
I will never
pray for you again
I will never
slave for you again
my - an - gel
dear - sweet - an - gel
yahh!!!!

(v2)
confrontaion unexpected
reaction premeditated
couldn't let you get away
will not let you slip away
pay for what you put me through
pain that I give back to you
now I left you out to dry
now I watch you as you cry

(chorus)
I will never
pray for you again
I will never
slave for you again
my - an - gel
dear - sweet - an - gel
No!!!! more
no more, no more, no MORE!!!

(repeat chorus)

“Killing You”

(v1)
Your always looking down on me
Your always walking on my back
Your never satisfied with me
Compassion is what you lack
You worked me to the fuckn bone
You stretch me out too thin
You won't leave me the fuck alone
Your just killing me again

(chorus)
you finally got to me
your always killing me
I hate the shit you do
So now I'm killing you
For all you put me through
Now I'm killing you

(v2)
it's every word you've ever spoken
and every lie you've ever lied
it's every promise you've ever broken
my patience you have tried
it's all the nasty things you do
everyone's been hurt by you
it's every single thing you do
it's everything that's fucked in you

(chorus)
you finally got to me
your always killing me
I hate the shit you do
So now I'm killing you
For all you put me through
Now I'm killing you

(v3)
for the awful way that you treat me
you'll get what you deserve
for all the shit you've done to me
your teeth are on the curb
you get what you put in
so I'll just throw you out
I can't take your shit again
and you can't live without

(chorus)
you finally got to me
your always killing me
I hate the shit you do
So now I'm killing you
For all you put me through
Now I'm killing you

“Shadows in the Darkness”

(v1)
in her bed the tears will fall
underneath her skin will crawl
her vital signs will leave her quickly
she'll ask herself, “will they even miss me?”
head so full of tainted thoughts
another death that pain has brought

(chorus)
shadows in the darkness crying
another restless soul roams freely
still alive but quickly dying
another breathless soul bleeds deeply

(v2)
the poisons slow but surely kills you
cus voices in your head won't leave you
they pry into your deepest fears
they'll keep beating away for years
until the day they finally win
you kick the chair to silence them

(chorus)
shadows in the darkness crying
another restless soul roams freely
still alive but quickly dying
another breathless soul bleeds deeply

(v3)
darkness prevails, all hope is lost
your soul is free but at what cost
to free yourself you take your life
pain take pain that can't be right
you must find another way
a new escape to take away

(chorus)
shadows in the darkness crying
another restless soul roams freely
still alive but quickly dying
another breathless soul bleeds deeply

(bridge)
breathless soul bleeds so deeply
they just bleed so deeply
keep bleeding deeply
just bleed so deeply

(chorus)
shadows in the darkness crying
another restless soul roams freely
still alive but quickly dying
another breathless soul bleeds deeply
just bleeds so deeply
bleeds just like me
bleeds so deeply
bleeds just like me

Ok maybe they don't show who I am very well but they do mean alot to me so if you could critique them it would be very apreciated. Thanks.

Hey Last Man....au contraire. I think they're quite revealing. I won't guess but once. I'd say yer a pretty angry soul.

As for the lyrics themselves, they're pretty dark. I don't mind the language. It fits within the context. I'm usually into somewhat more uplifting stuff.

But it all reads pretty clearly, meters well and would seem to lend itself to music. Guess you realy need a "dark" fan to critique you for content. I'm afraid it's a little past me.

Thanks for the read at least.

“Shadows in the Darkness” is the one I like best. It's more subtle, less direct in my opinion. I'd be interested in what kind of music you had for these songs. I'm thinking heavey, slower distortion but they could work other ways too.

I'm always kind of going for a Tool or Perfect Circle feel, heavy musicaly, deep lyricaly. I love TOOL. Lots of changes throughout.

GLAD TO SEE YOU MADE IT.


JEANETT

thanks only to you, of course

Nice lyrics.. Are you interested in working together with people...? If so, I think I could come up with some music for at least one of those songs... If not, that's cool... If you have music for them, I'd love to hear it...

Gabriel X.E.N.

hey LMS...see, you are getting cowriting interest here! Wish we could get more people from Indie and the muse here...

Katnot and I have both won nTrack studio from OLR! That is too cool. Sure want to help Steve make this place the best it can be!